Well, she's done it again!
At our pre-Oscar bash Merrily let out with a new secret! She never married my real father?! That was news to me, as they say. I think I smacked my fork down on the table and said "WHAT?" sorta loudly. Other guests were trying to console me, but there was no need. Nothing ma mere does shocks me anymore. I mean, I have a 26 year old "Uncle" Tony Birdsall, he of the I SWEAR I HAVE A PHD IN PSYCHOLOGY BUT I TACK ROOFS ONTO NEW HOMES! I SWEAR! persuasion.
Google Anthony Birdsall and see what you WON'T find!
So, yeah. I am a BASTARD. I knew that much, already, but I did not know that Merrily Curtis Esq. didn't suck it up and marry that sperm donor of a father. I also found, that he swore that he would call me on my 18th birthday (he did), whether Merrily liked it or not. Only my nerves rattled at that point.
Family secrets, dark as they are, could probably be better told in PRIVATE, rather than having this 45 year old mystery challenge that the Curtis' Family has played, long after the main players have died.
Don't worry about me, doll.
I LOVE being a bastard.
Fuck all y'all.
At our pre-Oscar bash Merrily let out with a new secret! She never married my real father?! That was news to me, as they say. I think I smacked my fork down on the table and said "WHAT?" sorta loudly. Other guests were trying to console me, but there was no need. Nothing ma mere does shocks me anymore. I mean, I have a 26 year old "Uncle" Tony Birdsall, he of the I SWEAR I HAVE A PHD IN PSYCHOLOGY BUT I TACK ROOFS ONTO NEW HOMES! I SWEAR! persuasion.
Google Anthony Birdsall and see what you WON'T find!
So, yeah. I am a BASTARD. I knew that much, already, but I did not know that Merrily Curtis Esq. didn't suck it up and marry that sperm donor of a father. I also found, that he swore that he would call me on my 18th birthday (he did), whether Merrily liked it or not. Only my nerves rattled at that point.
Family secrets, dark as they are, could probably be better told in PRIVATE, rather than having this 45 year old mystery challenge that the Curtis' Family has played, long after the main players have died.
Don't worry about me, doll.
I LOVE being a bastard.
Fuck all y'all.
3 comments:
LAWDIE CHILD!
I have known you and your Peyton Place family all these years, and yet, you Cutis' (or Curt I?) manage to always have one more cliffhanger left before the season ends!
What next? Dominique isn't really a Carrington? Gin really isn't a member of the seven essential herbs and spices?
Atsa my Turkey is made with veal?
My head hurts.
This can't be true!
I was there when your mother coolly told the Ladies Junior League Christian Society that you were NOT A BASTARD!
Bitch, yes.
Cunt, well, ok.
Meanie mean mean, of course.
But a BASTARD?
Oh God, I need a Super Big Gulp Coke.
LOL. Well, to be fair, I think Merrily THOUGHT I knew the whole story, but how could I?! I was only ONE when she married JOE, and didn't even know he adopted me until I was eleven! That was when Groovy Aunt Carolyn dropped the bomb that Merrily came from the old work-house herself!
Stay tuned for more of the Curtis Family Saga....if it can get any better.
holy cow! is there ever anything un...un-surprising in your life? I wish I was there to see the fork hit the table. You are the best. if you say the b word with a long a,then a short a, it sounds very...stylish...bas,tard! Freak, everyone is something...
Leave Merrily alone, she is walking merrily along....with style of course
xoxoxo me
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