CRAIG'S ULTIMATE FIX FOR THE ECONOMY!!!

NINE OUT OF TEN BELLINGHAM BLUES READERS AGREE:

LEGALIZE MARIJUANA!!!

Look, we already have all these fields down in the deep South, where tobacco grows like the weed it is, just festering away as America quits smoking (or simply stands around coughing while someone else lights-up, which, to my mind is a really passive-aggressive way to deal with YOUR problem when they can just MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY SMOKE ENHANCED AIRSPACE!) yearning to be productive. Well, in that my America's favorite ILLEGAL drug is good ol' Mary Jane, and since statistics show (after around 100 years of research) that it is NOT a gateway drug, nor does it cause mental instability, nor does it kill children in reckless car accidents (which, considering our ridiculous Holier-than-Thou attitudes on birth control is not such a bad thing) it seems to me that having this relatively harmless mood enhancer listed up there with Heroin and Cocaine as a Class Four drug is pretty ridiculous. Ask Woody Harrelson or nekked bongo player Matthew McConahay what they think about it.

License it, tax it, legalize it.

How wonderful to wander into your local 7-11 and buy a pack of Alcapulco Golds! I'll have the unfiltered king-size, if you please. Oh! And could I have a bottle of Cisco as well?!

In these troubling times, seems like we could all light up. Hell, imagine a green enhanced Hostess Cupcake! Tasty Delish! Oh, and BOOM BOOMS would be ever so delightful. With a bag of Cheetos! That sounds like supper to me. For dessert? Why an entire sixer of creme de menthe chocolate SNAK PAK pudding, of course! So what they cost 40 smackers! I'd buy.

Wouldn't you?

After a hard days work using your hard eaned PhD in biology spent reconstructing Federal roads, I bet you'd bite.

$816 BILLION Stimulus Package.

PFFT!!!