Wednesday, December 10, 2008

NETFLIX QUICK PIX!!!


Yes, dahlings! I've burned all my CD's, sold'em, and started a Craig Needs A Movie. NOW! Collection. Most on DVD, but some on VHS. For two bucks you can own a movie you always wanted to see! Or have seen, and simply KNOW you want to see it over and over and over.....Until the VCR goes out.

Here are some of my faves:

ROOM WITH A VIEW stars Helen Bonham Carter and Maggie Smith. The Maggie Smith. DAME Maggie to you. It also features young up-and comers like Rupert Graves (far more likable than the OTHER Rupert, he of the snotty-assed attitude) Daniel Day Lewis For eye-candy...Julian Sands. Did I mention Dame Maggie? Witty dialogue from writer Ruth Prawer-Jhabvala, neatly directed by James Merchant and produced by (you guessed it) Ismail Merchant, not only will this film put me to sleep (good dialigue need not be seen), but it also keeps me awake. Dame Judy Dench, Denholme Elliot, and Maggie Smith Costar.

Costarring Maggie Smith: THE FIRST WIVE'S CLUB is MAGGIE's MOVIE. She steals every scene she's in. Also starring some former Television Dancer (remember when they had THOSE?!) an "I'm fat this week, but next week I'll be better thanks to all you fags who still support me" singer of Gay Bathouses (remember THOSE?!) and some schlumpy white chick who wears gloves and turtle necks well beyond Memorial Day. They hate their Ex's. And they moider 'em. Well, emasculate. Fun, nothing of a movie.

That singer of Gay Bathouses? Bette Midler! And she's glorious as MAMA ROSE in GYPSY. She'll be Swell! She'll be Great! Absolutely nails every song, and is fab in the acting department. Cynthia Gibb is sort of boring, but RACHEL SWEET and Tony winning star of Grey Gardens, Christine Ebersol are around to add FUN! to the event. This telepic completely OBLITERATES that shit starring Rosalind Russell, clearly in another show altogether. (read: AUNTIE MAME).

Starring Roz Russell, Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford and every female extra on the MGM Lot, THE WOMEN is just a fun, never say die comedy, that slaps you this way, that way, until the end. About as satisfying as eating creme brulle.

One caaaaah-razy bitch not in the movie? Katharine Hepburn. Oh, I have a couple of her movies here, mind you, but one would think all that ESTROGEN would have been a call to arms. ON GOLDEN POND features an amazingly well face-lifted and ever-joyous Kate, bounding about and carrying wood, proving that embalming BEFORE DEATH is a good idea. Costarring David Bowie, as the man who deteriorates before her eyes, even though she can't. Errr....wrong movie. Henry Fonda got a death bed Oscar for this, and Hepburn Stayed home drinking bourbon and yelling clever insults at Stephen Sondiem. He lived right across the way in Turtle Bay. Like Hepburn PRE-FACELIFT? Well, her jowls are hiding under a snood throughout, but see her sizzle in LION IN WINTER. Fabulous verbal sparring with Peter O'Toole and that Hannibal Lecter guy. She's gloriously vindictive and rolls her rrrrr's like no seething wench EVER did after being locked in tower for years. Hey, she had her knitting. Unbelievably great writing.

Years and Years ago, the BBC produced a thoroughly long adaptation of THE FORSYTE SAGA. Clocking in at 1,200 minutes and shot in Dazzling BBC Black and White, this flicker, based on the books by James Galsworthy, is pretty spot-on. Naturally, I had to read them AFTER I saw the series, during one of MedFly's hottest summers, in the attic, sweltering. So we go on vacation, I come back, and there's a whole new cast! I never knew where the HELL FLEUR came from, but her jazz-baby debutante was to my mind, a good thing. If you come across this, see it.

FANNY AND ALEXANDER is one of my favorite Bergman films. Again, this is long, subtitled (I think some rube out there dubbed it) and about children in peril. Born into a theatrical family, the troupe is forced to shut down after the stage manager's demise. Unfortunately, the beautiful widowed mother becomes entranced by a really scary Lutheran Minister, and the rest is history. You MUST commit yourself to this.

PRETTY IN PINK stars Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer and some other guy who works on LIFETIME now. This is a guilty pleasure. I love these flicks. And even more, I love ANNIE POTTS!!! Great soundtrack, funny gags, love unrequited...it's the best. And I don't care what anyone thinks.

QUIZ SHOW. Ralph Fiennes morphs into Charles Van Doren, and John Turturro slumps into Herb Stemple. Based on a true story of a TV Game Show Scandal, directed by Robert Redford. Considering I got this one free, I have no complaints, and I love Fiennes. Other supporting cast members will be recognized, but their names will escape you. Until you watch a re-run of MURDER SHE WROTE.

From the DAYS OF ROBERT REDFORD ACTING file: THE WAY WE WERE. There is no reason for me to own this, I NEVER watch it (EVER), except to see how deftly the camera man stays away from the Dark Side of the Moon part of Barbara Striesand's face. Redford is pretty, his hair (all over) is good, the movie is stoopid, and after a few times, you wonder WHY?! It's just that I'm gay. Get over it.

WHY?! GAY?! GREASE!!! I love this movie. The chicks are old, and the guys don't know it. If you could film day-day life at Edgewood, ad a musical score, run into AN actor at a gay bar, dance on AMERICAN BANDSTAND, hang out Venice HS. You got my life. Only the guys were bitchier than the dames, and the closest thing to Cha Cha DiGregorio was Mrs Schnieder. I could bring up a couple of other names. But. Why bother.

OK.

Martha Guthrie.

A bit more of my life, eeeeeeked out into the ether!

Til Next Time....

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